Guy on train: I’d sleep with you if you didn’t have so many tattoos.
Me: *turns up music*
Guy: I said I’d sleep with you if you didn’t have so many tattoos!
Me: *takes off headphones* Leave. Me. Alone.
Guy: Why the hell do you have so many tattoos?
Guy: Are you deaf as well as a piece of trash?
Lady by door: Hey. Leave her alone.
Guy: Are you her trash girlfriend? Stupid idiots, all tattooed like men. Disgusting waste of talent.
Lady: *moves forward, carefully moves jacket so only I can see the badge on her belt* Are you okay?
Me: Fine. Just wish he’d go away.
Lady cop: I can make that happen.
Guy: Oh, yeah, b***h? Who the hell are you? I’ll kill you!
Lady cop: And that’s what I was waiting for. *grabs guy, holds him against the door* Harassing women on the train was enough, but you just threatened a cop. You’re battin’ a thousand tonight.
Entire train: *applauds*
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